Lately, if you ask my daughter how old she is, she answers, not incorrectly, “one.” This in and of itself astounds me as she she’s been doing this since 14 months of age. But I’m even more wowwed by her other answers to age questions. When I ask, “How old am I?” she replies, “one.” When I ask how old mommy is, she replies, “one.” And so on and so forth. But it’s made me rethink the idea of age; in some ways, we’re kind of all one year of age. Humans are newbies on this planet, just seconds old compared to other, more funky, lifeforms like horseshoe crabs. And we’re all pretty close in age in the great scheme of things. My grandmother died at 92, which I grant you is 91 years older than her great-granddaughter; but really, it’s a short amount of time, a blip in the universal wristwatch and I tend to think that all our time on this planet is compressed at the ripe age of “one.” We’ll always be one, as the Kabbalists have noted long before I.


While 9.11 is the day that lives in all our heads in NYC 24 hours a day (well, maybe mine still), 9.1 is the day that changed the world and I seek to commemorate that day again. It’s the day that Germany blitzed into Poland in 1939, the day that the Nazi party decided it could move East with little fanfare, and it was the day that the world became aware dark matter filling the hole of Europe. It’s also the day that the Wizard of Oz was released in the U.S., as I’ve probably mentioned many years earlier to those who are friends.
That incredible juxtaposition informs much of my small brain. So, herein are some ideas for new brands that might just succeed in the U.S. What’s odd is that I actually think this kind of ideation, at least these days, is profitable. Feel free to steal:
Third Reich Steaks
Pol Potstickers
Stalin Salads
Pinochet Potatoes
Taylor Turnovers